Laundry

Those of us who went to boarding school were forced to do our own laundry (but for those highly elitist few whose maids would trek up once a week with the dry cleaning and a basket of freshly pressed linens). Considering it cost 50 cents a wash and dry, very few of us actually ventured into the basement with our mesh 'dirty' bags - who actually carries around change? We would hold out until a long weekend and either go to a friends house or take a huge suitcase home.

My first time coming home I had a huge pile of cloths that I didn't know what to do with because I didn't have a big suitcase - my parents had taken it with them leaving me only with a weekend bag. Thinking I was being resourceful, I found the clear thick plastic case my comforter came in and stuffed it full of all my soiled goods. I checked it through as luggage at the airport. My mother came to pick me up and as I tried to explain what my luggage looked like she stared back at me in horror. Not only did America West lose my "bag", it had ripped apart and my shit was everywhere. It took me three years to live that one down and replace those clothes - rich kid. real world situation. retarded response.

After that, instead of just changing a dollar for quarters I started a war with the heads of residential life and demanded new, change-free washing machines. I argued that ours were below environmental standards, and that if we had those cards that we could charge with cash and swipe, more people would do their laundry. I created a new position in student government and met with the headmaster to solve the issue. By the time I graduated the new machines were in place and the cards on their way - I was one of the most powerful people in student government, had single handedly changed the school's bylaws, and still held out for vacations to do my laundry.

In college I was even more spoiled. My parents had an apartment in the town our school was in so I just did my laundry there...or rather Mousaa, the cleaning lady did. I know how to do it, I actually sometimes enjoy doing it, but I'm really, really lazy when it comes to chores. It took a semester abroad to whip me into Maytag shape. I believe I have mastered the rich kid laundry experience so that the linens come out smelling as fresh as when they are pressed at the Waldorf Astoria.

I buy that lavender vanilla fabric softener and dryer sheets. The actual detergent is standard, I've found it doesn't really matter that much. I just use anything that isn't TIDE because they test on animals. With the added lavender everything smells sooo good and feels sooo soft I just want to snuggle in a big pile of warm fabric with a season of the west wing.

I've made the mistakes of leaving my laundry in the washer too long and it gets damp; I've left it in the dryer and come back to find it thrown on the floor because someone else needed to use it; I've accidentally dyed white clothes pink and grey a number of times because I'm too lazy to sit around waiting for seperates - I just throw them all together; I've lost zippers, ripped bras and gotten bleached out white spots on my purple sheets - - but nothing compares to my stint as head of wardrobe on an indie movie set.

Long story short I was given this awesome opportunity and didn't really know what I was doing (it happens a lot). I had to wash the lead actresses' clothes every other day. Well, I didn't fully understand what bleach was and in an attempt to remove a few spots on a green skirt I made a few permanent white ones. Then, while washing a pair of white sneakers (they were really dirty) a red sock was stuck in them and I didn't know - they turned hot pink. I sat with a clorox bleach stick for 3 hours re-dying them white and the whole crew, including the director, hated me from then on.

I've learned my lesson and now take pride in my laundering skills - just never use bleach unless you want to strip something of all color. Oh and if you run out of dryer sheets you can throw a tennis ball in there and it has the same affect - my dad taught me that one.